Airplanes and baby therapy

So Paul has been on an airplane three times this month, and we've learned that he has a gift for cheering people up.

On the way to Utah, we sat next to an old man named Joseph who was on his way to his brother's funeral. He was pretty forlorn and reserved at the beginning of the flight, but by the end, he was smiling and shaking Paul's hand.

Coincidentally enough, we sat in the same configuration on the flight back, next to a man named Jo who was coming back from his cousin's funeral. How weird is that? The thing is, I was worried that this Joseph would be cranky during our whole flight. As Blair and I filed in, there were no two seats together and it wasn't until the prompting of a flight attendant that anyone moved for us. The man, Jo, seemed very upset by the fact that he had to sit next to the couple with a baby. The flight attendant apologized and offered him a free "drink". When Blair tried opening a conversation with him, we were both so surprised by Jo's response. He turned out to be the friendliest most talkative person I've ever sat next to on a plane! He was talking about his Italian family and was showing us pictures of his cousin on his phone.  By the end of the flight he was saying things like, "thanks, you guys, for getting me a free drink!", "It was so nice to meet you." and "Paul, you're such a good baby. You've cheered me up!"

Here are some pictures we took at the airport.



Sorry it's dark...




Yep, he's a happy kid. :)

The event crammed month of April

April was a super busy month for us.

1. We flew to Utah for Reana and Sravan's wedding. This picture was taken with my phone during her reception. She was waiting to have the tares in her dress fixed, while I was trying to put Paul down for a nap.



2. We ran in the annual Running for Risa event.



3. Blair flew to Michigan on a business trip.

4. We had the Green's over for dinner. (Thanks, Laura, for this great picture of Benjamin and Paul!)


5. We also had one of Blair's coworkers and his wife over for dinner on another day.

6. Spent a sunny Saturday at Raleigh Park to celebrate Uncle Rob's birthday.


7. Flew to Boise and drove the rest of the way to Rexburg with Blair's family for Charles'and CayLee's wedding.


8. Went swimming for the first time at the hotel. Paul loved it! Unfortunately, all the pictures of him smiling were totally blurry.



Paul got to hang out with two of his three cousins while in Rexburg.



9. We drove through the night from Rexburg to Portland with Blair's parents and younger siblings. Paul did pretty well during such a long car trip.





It was a tiring and fun-filled month, and we're glad to be home for May!

Tomato Treat

Paul's learning to communicate to get what he wants. The other morning, I hear his little voice, "dah dee dee biddle bah dee dee", as he crawled into my bedroom. He taps my foot with his little hand and says "mama!". After I pick him up, he clearly says, "num num!" as he points to the kitchin with his hand, then sticks his thumb in his mouth and waits for his orders to be carried out.

Paul is a funny baby. Instead of teething biscuits - or, in addiction to teething biscuits - I give Paul tomatoes to keep him happy while I get things done.







Yay! A tomato!

Eight teeth and standing up

We have one more week before Paul's ten month mark and he's already grinning with eight teeth. (With a ninth on the way!) I almost hate to say it, but I'm counting down the days to his first birthday so I can ween him...



For about two weeks now Paul's been pulling himself up onto furniture and cruising around the house.


Look at those muscles!


What a man-(child)!



I have a word of caution to any new mothers out there. The pulling-up stage could bring difficulty back to bedtime. For the first week of his new-found standing skills, Paul would automatically pull himself up every time we lay him in his crib. The problem was that he didn't know how to get back down, so he'd be standing and crying - completely stuck. Blair or I would go in to lay him down again, but, no matter how exhausted he was, he would just get right back up. Thankfully, this stage was short lived and he goes to bed without a fuss now. He's also learned how to get down to all fours himself now. Yay!

This is the cute face I get to see every morning! He laughs all the time now! It's so fun!

Running, flying and catching spiders

On Saturday, Blair, Paul and I attended the second annual Running for Risa event. We thought we wouldn't be able to do it this year because Blair had to get on a plane and head to Michigan for a business trip that morning. We thought his plane was leaving at 11:00am, so I enjoyed the extremely rare pleasure of sleeping in because Paul went back to bed that morning for some mysteriously magical, wonderful reason. However, my slumber was interrupted as gently as it ever could be by my sweet husband saying something about his flight actually being later, and how we could go to the running event after all. I roll over and glanced at the clock. It read 8:20. What!?! That meant the race was starting in 40 minutes! I tore myself from the bed, hair up, shoes on, baby (who was sill in his pajamas) strapped in the car and off we went to the race!

Paul and I signed up for the 5k, since we really haven't been training for anything, while Blair signed up for the 10k. (That's his version of, "oh, I wasn't planning on running this morning".)

Here's a great pic of me blabbing Paige's ear off just after we started the run. (I hope you don't mind me posting a picture of your gorgeous self, Paige.)


Blair had to get going, I guess, and left us in the dust. (Dang! He's so good lookin'!)



As I came across the finish line, they announced that "Blair Hasler" had just come through. Sure enough, as the real Blair finished his 10k the credit was given fully to "Rebecca Hasler". I guess our names were switched...

Later that day, we dropped Blair off at the airport for his business trip. We sure missed him while he was gone, but thankfully, it was a short trip and we got to pick him up on Tuesday afternoon. He had tales of cancelled flights,  Las Vegas lights, loud Michigan geese, eating ice cream, watching The Hunger Games, and something about antennas for semi trucks. What a great trip!

Here's the random addition for this post: This HUGE spider was found on Paul's bedroom wall! This picture doesn't capture the sheer magnitude of this beast's massive body! As if it's size wasn't bad enough, this guy was one of those super fast spiders! I'm getting better about disposing of little arachnids myself, but this was definitely a job for Blair.



Well, that's all for now, folks. Until next time! Sleep tight, and don't forget to check your walls for spiders! Muahahaha!!!

Paul feeling suspense for the first time

He knows it's coming.

The ramblings of a heart-broken sister

I rarely cry. I can't stand the swollen throat, the runny nose, the stinging makeup in the eyes. Even worse, though, are those feelings that accompany tears, such as helplessness, weakness, self-pity and abandon. I much rather like to laugh at problems. (I love laughter so much I wrote an entire blog post about it last summer - A laughing matter.) Why cry and add such raw, ugly, seriousness to something that's already painful? Laughing keeps me in control and the mood light. Of course, there are times when you don't have a choice. There are times when the pain is so deep, so offending and so unexpected, you're sobbing before you can fight it. One year ago, today, was one of those times. Risa left us.

The last week of her life was a horrific waiting game. I remember being torn; I wanted her suffering to end, but not by her death. It goes against all instincts to let someone or something die. If an animal were hurt, I would try to help it. This was my baby sister. I remember thinking, why are we just watching and letting this happen to her?  Yet, I also knew that if we could just let her go, she could finally be happy again.

It has been said before that her name means laughter. Risa Melody Whitaker, a melody of laughter. I try to replay her sweet laugh. It disturbs me to realize how quickly memories fade. I wish I could remember everything that was said in those silly conversations I had with her. What did I say to make her laugh? What did she say to make me laugh? One thing I do remember clearly is how she would laugh - her beautiful dimpled smile, her sweet melody of giggles, her head thrown back in full-on, snorting guffaws, and her pretty little hand held to her face to recover as she pursed her lips closed.


In contrast, I hardly recognized my own wailing voice as I watched her leave. What an awful sound that was! I had never heard myself sob like that. Why do we even do that? It doesn't change anything. My family and I eventually had to stop crying to discover that Risa was still gone. We were still here with lives to live. The world moved on in such a disrespectful normalcy and we were expected to join it.

The mind can be one's worst enemy in times of tragedy. Right after she died, my mind would taunt me by telling me everything would be alright in the morning. Risa would be alive and well. This was all just a really long, and terribly realistic nightmare.  I hated hearing that voice because it only lived long enough to be violently clutched and killed by reality, forcing another wave of stinging tears. Regret was another unpleasant frequenter of the mind. Why didn't I sing Encore songs with her more often, like she wanted? Why didn't I invite her into my room and talk about her life? Why didn't I teach her how to dance as she always wished? If only, if only, if only. Silly mind. I had thousands of wonderful days with her! I am so lucky to have lived with her, to be her sister! As cliche and Broadway-Musical-ish as it may sound, I really am a better person because I've known her.

Yes, it was extremely painful to let her go. But, you know what? As hard as those days were, I never could feel hopeless or depressed. How could I? I felt more assuredly than ever that God was in charge. I felt the reality of the spirit world, the reality of eternity, the reality of forever families, and the reality of Christ's atonement and resurrection more than ever. How could I feel hopelessness, abandonment or despair? As soon as my self-pity tried to bring me down, the reality of God's great plan for Risa, for me, and for everyone would lift me up again. She's right over there and I'll see her again... no question.

Though I still don't like to, I do periodically tear up at times. However, Risa's hope before she died was that our family would still be the happy family we've always been. She still wanted us to laugh. We do. We laugh a lot. And I know she does too. Life goes on and it gets better as we experience the laughter and the tears. I miss her so so much, but I know I'll be with her again and we'll be singing, dancing and, above all,  laughing together.